Practically Famous Now

Matt had a celebrity day at Sears the other day.

He was dusting the smooth-top electric ranges when it happened. A blonde haired young woman and her mother descended the escalator with an air of elegance and pearls and headed straight for the appliance section. Matt set the feather duster down to greet the two women, but his coworker Maribel beat him to the new-comers.

Frowning, he continued dusting as he watched the two women work their way through the refrigerator section with his coworker. They seemed so familiar, but he wasn't quite sure why...

The new customers soon disappeared around a corner and out of site. Stumped and befuddled and wondering who the mysterious two were, Matt decided to get a closer look.

He gathered a fistful of paper towels in his hand and approached the computer station where his coworker, Maribel and the two ladies were seated, looking for appliances online.

"Yes, I'd like the stainless steel please," said the younger woman. Matt had never heard the words 'stainless steel' sound so sophisticated and the words danced in the air as if they carried some sort of magical substance. He came up to the group.

"Excuse me, hey, Maribel, have you seen the Windex " he asked, brandishing the paper towels. "I can't find it anywhere" (it was currently resting under the counter in the Electronics department).

"Nope," responded Maribel simply.

He then smiled to the two ladies. "So sorry to interrupt."

"Oh you're fine!" said the younger, blonde woman. Matt noticed that her hair was done up in a fancy bun and she wore a light-blue silk scarf and a sleek pant-suit. She was absolutely stunning and the other woman, who had to be her mother, was dressed in a similar manner and also very beautiful. These two practically screamed out 'HIGH CLASS!!'

Matt returned to his cleaning, and a moment later an elderly woman with hair in a pony-tail and carrying a crocodile-green purse approached him. "Hi deary, I need a new fridge and a vacuum cleaner please."

As Matt assisted the lady, he occasionally glanced over to the other two, trying to figure out why they seemed so familiar to him. He helped the older lady pick out a new fridge and as they were looking at vacuum cleaners, it suddenly came to him. He gasped and turned to the lady he was helping.

"Oh my Heavens to Betsy, that's Elizabeth Smart and her mom!" he whispered excitedly to the woman, as he pointed with his head.

"I know dear, isn't she beautiful?" said the elderly woman and her pony tail bobbed up and down in agreement. "I recognized her immediately of course. She is a correspondent for ABC now."

"How crazy! Oh I almost want to say hi now that I know," said Matt with a wistful tone in his voice.

"Let's not say anything dear, I'm sure she is sick of all the attention. I know my daughter, for instance, HATES the paparazzi," said the elderly woman with pursed lips.

He looked back at the little old lady. "Wait, what? Who's your daughter?"

"Oh I'm sorry," the lady chuckled and put her hand to her chest. "I'm Helen Barr, Roseanne Barr's mother..."

Matt's jaw dropped open and he stared. Complete silence. Finally- "You're Roseanne Barr's mother?! Like THE ROSEANNE from the TV show?"

"Yes, that's the one," said the elderly woman with a little laugh.

"Holy buckets!" Matt started blubbering like an idiot at this point. "You're daughter is so funny! My mom used to watch her show all growing up. I knew she was from Salt Lake, but I never thought I'd meet her mother! What's she like?"

Helen had the decency to not be annoyed, but took it all graciously. "Oh she's a hoot. She keeps me laughing of course. She's just like her father, that one."

Matt carried Helen's vacuum up to the cash register to ring her up for the purchase. "So what is she up to these days?" he asked. Secretly, he wanted to ask Helen what she thought about the fact that her daughter had run for President, but thought better of it.

"She is in Vegas doing shows right now." Helen then coughed. "Oh excuse me, I'm recovering from being sick. I've been lying on my couch all week eating chocolate to feel better."

Matt laughed. "Hey, that's what they do in Harry Potter whenever anyone goes to the Hospital, and it always works."

"Roseann told me if I kept it up though, that I would get 'fluffy,' said Helen with an impish grin.

As Matt finished the transaction Helen asked him for his business card. "You were such a delight to work with, I'll have my manager call you soon for some washers and dryers," she promised. "What's your manager's name? I want to call and tell them how great the service was here." He thanked her and she waved before saying goodbye.

What a day! Sears Salt Lake is practically famous now!