A Christmas Miracle

       Matt had a um, entertaining customer at work yesterday. Wearing stiletto heels with shiny heart buckles in the front, leopard print leggings, a tight leather jacket and sporting fuzzy, voluminous hair that reminded him of one of Cher's more interesting wigs, his customer stepped off the escalator and traipsed down the aisle as if she were a runway model. That is, until Matt realized she was not walking in a straight line.

       Across one arm dangled several pairs of sequined and feathery lingerie. In the other hand she had two packages of darts for a dart board. Raising an eyebrow, Matt watched as she stumbled into a sign displaying a Kenmore washing machine and dryer set. She giggled as the sign fell to the ground with a clatter. "Don't worry, I'll get it" Matt replied as he rushed to her aid.

       "Silly me" she replied with a smile that revealed pink lipstick smeared on her teeth.

       "Can I help you find anything today?" he asked politely as he straightened the sign.

       She glanced down at his name tag.  "Well hi Matt, I'm Star!" (she slurred her name so it was more 'Staaaar'). "And nope, I just need to be rung up for my purchases" she said brightly as she waved the lingerie in his face.

       Wondering why she had come down to the basement to be rung up, when there were several cash registers upstairs, Matt led her to the register over near the fridges. As they walked, he noticed that it was as if every step were a surprise to Star. Like she didn't know what was going on, and couldn't figure out how she had ended up in the Appliance Department at Sears. Once again she stumbled, this time banging her shin on the edge of a stove. "Look out, those stoves will get ya," Matt said in sympathy as she grimaced. Not that he's seen anyone trip over them before.

       As he awkwardly handled the lacey material at the register, trying to locate the price tags, his customer spoke up. "You know, don't you just love Christmas time?" Matt said 'of course' and she carried on. "I personally believe that it's adoooorable that we celebrate Jesus' birthday, cause he's my Lord and Savior. I mean, the guy's more famous than Madonna, so why not right? Plus, there's bling bling lights on all the houses and lots of presents," Star said with relish. "Like today, I came here to buy important stuff like plates for my new place, cause I have a new boyfriend which means a new house, so I practically have nothing, but whatever," she rambled.

       "Hmmm," Matt responded in an attempt to be conversational.

       "But ya, I changed my mind," Star replied in a nonchalant attitude as she handed the darts over. "Since it's Christmas, I feel like it's more important to get some gifts for my boyfriend instead."

       "That's very thoughtful of you," replied Matt as he wondered how on earth she could justify purchasing half a closet full of lingerie and some darts while neglecting eating utensils. He shrugged his shoulders and continued on."I'm sure lingerie can be just as important as plates," he said in an agreeing tone. "Darts as well. I bet he'll love them... Are you sure the lingerie will fit him though?" he asked in a slightly teasing tone.

       Star snorted and busted up laughing. "You said it babe!" she hollered as she slapped Matt on the arm. A moment later as he wandered off to round up a bag for the woman (as they normally never ring customers up for anything other than large appliances in his department) he listened to her chortle and couldn't help but to chuckle as well.

       As Star walked away looking like a rock star with a severe case of vertigo, she turned around and hollered "Merry Christmas! Don't forget the baby Jesus and have a holiday miracle!" Matt felt a sense of gratitude. His day had been unbelievably dull. It had been about as exciting as a tray of green jello, which is not very exciting at all. But when Star came, she suddenly became the added carrots and whip cream to the jello. She brought joy to Matt's day. She was the shining star on top of a Christmas tree trimmed with extravant lights to rival Vegas. She was the not-so-virgin Mary cradling baby Jesus in a manger during the town pageant. She was a Christmas Miracle.  ;-)