Attack!!

     Sometimes Sundays are desirable. On the Sundays when Matt isn't concealing himself behind stoves and fridges, in order to avoid the customers who are downright terrors,  he is free to take 3 hour naps, play several rounds of 'Words With Friends,' plot out brilliant acts of revenge against his arch nemesis, the albino pigeon, or watch Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Occasionally, he may even clean his house, as it is the sensible thing to do. Today was one of the Sundays that was to be a cleaning day.

     Feeling like tidying his room a bit, Matt began to clean. As he picked up a book, 'The Hole in Your Nose' off his floor, he saw movement. Bending down to get a closer look, he noticed a little ant crawling along his carpet. "Oh my lucky stars, where did you come from?" Matt asked the little thing. It was then that he saw more movement, and looking around closely he saw dozens and dozens of ants crawling around his carpet.

      Howling like the neighbors ugly cat Gizzy when he sprayed her with the garden hose (she was sitting on his car when he wanted to wash it, and wouldn't move) Matt quickly hopped onto his bed. Where on earth did they come from?! His room wasn't even that messy at all. Feeling like they were crawling all over his body, Matt jumped off and ran to the other room to find a weapon. Coming back armed with his vacuum cleaner, he plugged the machine in and an almighty roar filled the room. Yelling "Hiyaaah!"he vacuumed the critters up. As he did so, he felt very brave, a lot like Miss Alabama during her talent portion when she shooed away her state bird, the mosquito, with her stiletto heel.
   
     Now, Matt is feeling kinda sorry for what he did, and he is wondering if that was the ethical thing to do. He sat down and pondering, asked himself the question- Would Jesus have done that? Would Mother Theresa, Harry Potter, Gandhi or even Lady Gaga do something that cruel? Maybe they would have tirelessly collected every ant, setting them free outside into the bright sunshine of freedom. Seeing a single ant crawl along the coffee table, however, quickly changed his mind. Matt smacked the thing ruthlessly with the DVD case for 'Muppet Christmas Carol,' before getting up to go make dinner. The task had made him rather hungry after all.

     In the back of his mind though, Matt is wondering if karma will catch up to him. He hopes that in the next life a giant ant will not be allowed to chase HIM around with a vacuum cleaner...